Antidepressants making me feel so ill?

i've tried to take antidepressants a few times now, but every time i find the side effects so bad that i have to stop taking them, the side effects have included nightmares, night sweats, anxiety, emotional numbness, insomnia, sleeping too much, weight loss, anorgasmia, feeling hot, nausea, dizzyness, headaches, elecric rushes in my head, agitation, teeth grinding, dry mouth, constipation, avoidance of social interactions, inpaired judgement, inability to drive, concentration, memory loss; this was all on sertraline and i took it for 3 or 4 weeks. the last straw was when i was having a shower and found myself falling asleep whilst i was stood up after having 14 hours sleep. i've been told to change to another drug citalopram and after the terrible withdrawal effects i've had from stopped this current drug i'm really worried about starting another one. its disconcerting that there are limited studies on the epidemilogical effects of these drugs and the exact chemistry on the brain is also not known, just promoted by drug companies. yes, i want to get better, but throughout the stress and anxiety and depression i have felt before the ADs, i never felt as bad as i do on them. is there maybe too much pressure from society to lead the perfect happy life? maybe taking chemicals to deal and mask physical life issues is not the way forward? i want to be happy but i also want to experience and enjoy life without looking at it through a hazy of drugged up **** feeeling i get from ADs. maybe if we lived in a more social, family orientated, supportive, less isolated world a lot of us wouldn't be dependent on the intake unnatural chemicals to function. from the psychoactive stimulant of tea and coffee to snorting cocaine. yes, they feel good, but so does flying a kite on a sunny day with your friends